Rules

This Friday will mark 3 weeks since I left Nashville. Crazy. 

Feelings: still terrified, trying to be strong but feeling super fragile. 

Top 3 fears: 1) not being able to save the money to hike 2) getting sidetracked 3) really it's just the money thing.

Current status with job and living: I was offered a potential position for a great job at Strayer University with full benefits but I had to decline because I would have had to make the decision to not hike the AT in the next year or so...I couldn't do that. I did have another interview but because of me hiking I could only be offered a part time non benefitted position and I just couldn't offered to take it. So I am still jobless. I am working really hard doing work around my brother and sister in laws house...but am slacking on the hours...apparently manual labour is exhausting!!! And the truth is that I have been so distracted and busy I haven't spent much time applying to other jobs. But at this point I do not foresee being able to stay in the DC area. Even if I got two jobs I wouldn't be able to afford the cost of living in the light of having to deal with my insanely high medical insurance and other bills...wouldn't be saving enough money. I would be insanely sad to leave...mostly cause I want to keep playing soccer and so far I have been able to play twice a week here ;)...but I have been praying that what is right and best for me would happen...and I am beginning to think that the best thing for me in all regards would be to go live with my parents. I haven't had a chance to even look into graduate schools and studying for the GRE...

Current desire: I have been really overwhelmed with how much I want God...I don't want to be pushed and I need time to come to Him on my own and coming just to Him...and I cannot wait to escape into the woods and have that time. 

Total Saving: Ehhh all of that is in debate right now with having to pay off a bunch of bills and loans and stuff with my car...needless to say I am discouraged and stressed out.

Here are the rules of the game: 

1) No complaining.

I feel overwhelmed with trying to find jobs while balancing trying to find a place to live for very cheap. I need to tie up ends in Nashville and study for the GRE and apply for Grad schools while preparing for the hike...knowing it may not get to happen if I can't get the money to take care of everything. All that to say it is hard to not complain but NO COMPLAINING cause I have made decisions to work toward my dreams and it is not an easy path but it is worth it...I just feel timid and overwhelmed. But if I want to get through the AT and live's craziness then no complaining!!! 

2) Cannot be afraid of anything.

This includes zombies, spiders, the dark, being alone, clowns, bears, ticks, water, creepers, etc

For this to be possible I have to be strong and I cannot be afraid of everything especially if the fear is irrational. Stupid scary movies. NO MORE SCARY MOVIES...with the exception of World War Z. 

3) Be bold.

I must be outgoing and not stand back feeling awkward. I need to speak up and I need to stick to myself and not conforming to other people and what they believe and what they want. I have to...I want to meet people on the trail and become something...I can't do it if I am too afraid of being awkward or I want to just hide in the back and be forgotten. I have to get out there and grab life by the horns!!!

4) STOP SPENDING MONEY!!!...learn to scrimp on everything!!!!

But now that I just looked at my money situation and the things I have to get accomplished I am going to go work like a maniac at my brother's house. So till next time...