Being alone is not good.

So I thought that I was lonely when I was in Nashville...and then I moved to Williamsburg...most days I only interact with my parents and some people I serve and some of the people I work with...but other then my conversations with my parents...these interactions are short and unmeaningful...on some days I really just sit at home alone...watching documentaries about cults and drinking tea...I don't talk to anyone...


I know that this is not good because the more alone I am the more annoyed I get at people and their quirks...I get annoyed so easily because I am so selfish...the more I am alone the more I want things my way cause that is what I am used to...


I need community because without it I just become a grumpy old lady who is angry when school kids put their feet on my grass...


Sometimes I don't want people...I need them though.


I am really lonely. I really miss my friends...this is going to be a long journey...and it is going to be a really hard one...


I start my full time job this coming Monday...Red Lobster is probably going to let me work with them still...I hope I can still pick up some other part time jobs...


I joined the YMCA and have been lifting weights and swimming.


I don't know how to be alone...and after this journey...I don't want to be alone again.


That's all for now...


...also I just realized that Donald Miller talks about this concept and need of community in Blue Like Jazz...he was right...and I am doomed to selfish grumpiness unless I make some changes...but I don't see what can change for a few months...


it's a good read. You should read it...



The end.